luv daddy so muchie...= )

have a nice talk wif daddy yesterday
daddy so support me..
i told him everythg he jus say
[no matter hw i oso stand by ur side]
so gam dung
daddy i promised u
in tis 3 months i surely will let it go
will nt thk about him anymore
i will do it!!!!!!
still talk alot wif dad
daddy say am a brave girl
will do the best for the thg i want
so...i will do my best just to let it go
i wont find u all to talk about my thgs anymore
mayb u all jus feel very sienz when listening wat am talking
so...i rather talk to dad...
at least..he wont jus answer me [dun thk so much]
daddy i luv u so much
get well soon..!!

-

知道真相真的会让我狂飙泪
我知道一定会很痛
可是我就是控制不到自己不去问他
到底是真是假
答案不是我想要的
我哭的无法停止
很痛
我总爱用伤害最深的方式
去忘记你
我讨厌这样
放弃是我唯一能做的
我一定会
我一定会狠狠的忘记你
不会再期待着什么奇迹
别傻了
我彻底失望
对你 我彻彻底底的感到失望

meaningless

yes i can be strong
yes i can live without u
yes i can forget u easily
yes this
yes that
i do my best just to let it go
who the fuck would like to suffering in tis kind of situation
i jus need somebody to console
y i get fuck by ppl
[u the one who let it go. u the one who regret nw]

y i will brk up wif him
y? disappointed!
hw many promised he made
bt hw many he do it for me
promised me tis n tat
bt DO NOTHING
nobody noe hw much he promised me
nobody noe hw many time i forgive him
1 time..2 time..3 time...until 10 times
still wan hw many times to forgive
i promised i do it
he promised dun hv to do then promised is for wat!
i brk up wif him..i very happy?
who the fuck noe i everyday cant slp
who noe i unhappy
all jus say am the one who wanna brk up
never thk the one who say brk up will get hurt too?
if i dun love him. i can jus forget him jus like the wind pass by
bt am nt
in tis 2 years so many thg he hurt me i oso forgive him
bcoz of wat? fun a?
every little thg will remind me of him for whole day
tis feeling is not nice at all
am dying deep inside n who noe
i dun dare talk to mum..dunwan she worry
i talk to u..u say is me
who sumore i can talk to
i dun hv much frenz...u r my best frenz
hw cum u nt support me..i really dunno hw to say my feeling
am nt really wanna brk up wif him
bt hw can he never find me for a whole week afta i bk from kl
i edi told him my phone no credit
he oso no on9 come find me
jus bcoz he saw tat msg then judge me
judge me is wif ah bear
is tis fair?
FAIR ONOT...he is my bf
hw can he nt belif me all the time
he always nt belif me...i oso like tis
then? y no ppl say i good
i really so bad meh
bad until brk up oso no nid console me meh
he at thr..u all see very easy..
am ALONE here
who can see my cat face when i cry in midnite
he unhappy..call frenz clubbing
i unhappy...cry myself...
tis call fair meh?
i really dunno hw only is fair
i do my best jus for him
and at the end wat i get is jus nth
i bcoz of him..go bk 2 times...poor until no money to eat
i bcoz of him..argue wif family say i dunwan stay uk anymore
i wan go back...then gt fuck by mum n dad
i drink until wan die..asma come..vomit wong dam sui..WHY
all jus bcoz of him..JUST HIM!
i wat oso bcoz of him....n wat i get? nth
am the bad one. he is the best one
am the most bad girl in this world
am the most stupid girl in this world
used to imagine he is my husband and be wif me rest of his life
all tis jus imagine..not real at all
i use true heart to love u
and all i get from u is nth.
not even any position in ur heart at all.

( - )

i hate it so much!
tis feeling is killing deep inside me
its more worth than dying

u go out wif her
wearing the jersey i bought it for u
sumore wanna post it out

when u wearing tis jersey dun u rmb me?
tis feeling i really hate
wat the fuck is wrong wif me!!!!!!!!

my heart is killing me
i bet i got heart attack soon!
cant slp everyday
cant eat well everyday
tis life jus like shit !

hw can u be like tat
i hate u! i hate myself MORE!
damn!

can i cry?

feel like..
no meaning living in tis world
dun even know i live for wat
can sumbody tell me
live for wat?

so much pain so much hurt
being a human is damn fucking difficult
especially our heart
wan A but doing B
hw cum...dun understand

feel like tis world full of fake ppl
am included in tat fake ppl group too..mayb
i try nt to cry for so long
pretend that am very happy
pretend that am very strong n tough
do i success?
yes i did
every1 thks am fine
am ok wif everythg
can TVB gv me some award too?

tired of being fake ppl
can i cry? being strong girl nt easy i noe
i try so hard to let it go
i tried! everyone just saying is my fault..
so nice...mayb really is me

i really dunwan to care bt i cant
am human i got feelings too
bt who cares my feeling? lolx
no one.
blame here blame thr oso dunno for wat
humans..
cant understand
really dun understand...
i jus noe tat i wanna cry